Roots of Equality

Though my wife can be a terror at times, I still like keeping her around as my spouse. This is also despite the fact that Andy Pugno of “Yes on 8” fully expects us to divorce: “if California goes as Massachusetts did after legalizing gay marriage, a substantial portion of the still-recognized gay marriages will be dissolved by divorce within a few years.”

No, I want don’t want a divorce; I want to return my marriage license. I’m now an owner of a document and a part of a system that specifically excludes a segment of the population, specifically my queer brethren. I’m ashamed to be a part of the California marriage system, and I want nothing to do with it until this discrepancy is fixed.

You see, my wife and I got illegally married back in 2006, and for all intents and purposes, that is our wedding date. When the California Supreme Court in all their wisdom opened their door to same-sex marriage, we of course jumped at the opportunity to claim the equal rights, responsibilities, and recognition that had been due to us.

We were proud to be two of the 18,000 gay married folks that made it before the election. After the election, we were naturally devastated and out for justice. It has never been just about our individual marriage, it was always about the larger ideals involved. So when the decision came down Tuesday morning that upheld inequality yet left our marriage intact, I was still disgusted. I remain disgusted and find no solace in the “well at least you’re still married” comments.

I want out, and I want out now. I will not be a part of a system that separates me from others because of identity and I will certainly not be a part of a system that makes me one of the lucky few just because I filed my paperwork before the election.

We’re sending my marriage license back to the state with “Return to sender. Broken system. Please send back when fixed.”

(This is done with the permission of my terror of a wife Melissa.)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 27th, 2009 at 2:36 pm and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.